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My Favorite Quotes

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My Favorite Quotes

Postby TomTom » Thu May 05, 2016 5:40 pm

These may not all be humorous, but most are, which is why I posted them in "Humor"! ... and what does that say about me? :lol:

Here are a few of my favorite quotes. I usually assign one of them as my "signature" in posts on this site, and whenever I find a new favorite, save it to my original text file.


A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
- From "Mostly Harmless" by Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

There's no such thing as a foolproof system. Someone will make a better fool, tomorrow.
- Unknown

The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armor to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into it in the first place.
- Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

There is a theory that if ever anyone discovers what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced with something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory that this has already happened.
- From "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe" by Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

Chaos always wins, because it's better organized.
- Terry Pratchett (1948-)

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett (1948-)

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
- James Branch Cabell (1879-1958)

Wise men don't need advice. Fools won't take it.
- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
- Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens) (1835-1910)

I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence.
- Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849)

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.
- Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw) (1818-1885)

If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
- Yogi Berra (1925-)

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
- Henry Ford (1863-1947)

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens) (1835-1910)

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
- Hamlet (1.5.166-7), Hamlet to Horatio - William Shakespeare

Solvitur ambulando (It is solved by walking)
- St. Augustine

I love it when a plan comes together.
- John "Hannibal" Smith (played by George Peppard), from the TV show, "The A-Team"

Wikipedia, eh? Must be accurate then!
- Terry Pratchett

There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.
- Sherlock Holmes in "The Boscombe Valley Mystery" (Arthur Conan Doyle)

When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
- Sherlock Holmes in "The Adventure of the Blanched Soldier" (Arthur Conan Doyle)

Variations & Info:

Doyle must have really liked this one! It was also quoted by Spock in Star Trek (2009):

It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
- Sherlock Holmes in "The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet" (Arthur Conan Doyle)

How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?
- Sherlock Holmes in "The Sign of the Four" (Arthur Conan Doyle)

You can make mistakes, but you aren't a "failure" until you start blaming others for those mistakes.
- John Wooden

If I offered you $100,000 to jump out of a plane without a parachute, would youdo it? I'll bet you said NO. But, what if I told you the plane was on the ground?... Moral of the story: know all the facts before you open your mouth or "jump" to conclusions.
- Unknown

Worry is a darkroom where negatives are developed.
- Unknown

Sometimes God will let you hit rock bottom... so that you will discover that He IS the rock at the bottom.
- Unknown

Why do we spend so much time and money looking for intelligent life on other planets? I'd be happy to find intelligent life here on Earth first!
- Unknown

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
- George Santayana
...and a corollary by Tom Spindler:
Those who cannot learn from their mistakes are condemned to repeat them.


Of course, it's easy to see that some of my favorite quote authors (in no particular order) are: Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams, Samuel Clemens, Benjamin Franklin, Edgar Allan Poe, Albert Einstein, "Sherlock Holmes" and "Murphy". (The phrase made popular by "Murphy's Law" may actually be attributed to mathematician Augustus De Morgan in 1877, according to The "Murphy's Law" name supposedly stems from an attempt to use new measurement devices developed by the eponymous Edward Murphy in the late 1940s or early 1950s, although Murphy himself may not have actually said it.)


Sources for a Few More:
A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge.
- Tyrion Lannister

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